Calling

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The door slams.
The police call.
I scream and cry!
Do you not love me at all?

The fist rams.
My body will fall.
I shudder and cry.
Why do you treat me like a football?

I cry for your love.
You neglect my cry.
I watch your hand from above.

You hit. I fall.
I cry. You scream.
I weep. You shout.
You stomp. I sleep.

Love me mother.
Love me child.
Love me brother.
My heart is wild.

I search and search.
Until nothing is left.
I search and search.
But you have already left.

At least for today

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Dad,
Sometimes I hate you,
Sometimes I don’t,
Other times,
I want to wrap my hands around your throat.

Once a year,
You smile at me,
Twice a year,
I love thee,
Thrice a year?
Well I’d be lucky,
If you even acknowledged me.

But then again,
We have those times,
When I love you,
And you love me.

No matter snow or rain,
Sun or cloud,
Our love together,
Speaks aloud.

For the times when we remember,
Our genes are what keep us together,
So,
Dad,
Daddy,
I just wanted to say,
That I will love you.

At least for today.

Surrender

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In my moment of weakness,
I want to surrender myself,
Not only to you but your kiss,
Your kiss alone renders me helpless.

Sometimes I delude that we,
No matter the circumstances,
Can make it together. Free,
And able. Though using all of our chances.

But then I remember,
I had my chance.
Still we have a glow of ember,
But there is no romance.

So now I savour every moment.
Every moment of weakness.
Each moment we shared.
And I hope for that moment.
That we will love again.

Father in waiting

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I waited daddy,
I waited for you to come and get me.
I waited for your face and hugs.
I waited for you to save me.

I always thought you secretly loved me,
No matter what the Lady said.
I always thought you’d save me daddy.
That you would come to my bed.

But you didn’t daddy.
I don’t know why. I still love you.
Daddy why didn’t you save me?
From the night? From the danger? From her?
Why? Why don’t you love me anymore?

Well.
Daddy. I’m still waiting.
I’m waiting for you to come and get me.
I’m still waiting for you face and hugs.
I’m waiting for you daddy.
I’m waiting for you to come and love me.

Save me

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Help me. I can’t make it on my own.
Save me. The abyss of my mistakes is where I drown.
If I call, will you come?
Will you save me?

I know mistakes made are unforgivable, unreasoned.
But believe me, I see the treason.
The person I was before,
Save her.
Its her life i stole. I wanted more.
I live in the remains of a broken love.
Of a mistake, of good intentions.
Yet I make no redemptions.
Will you save me?

So I ask, I beg!
Forgive my ways, I can change.
It is a task,  but I can commit!
No crimes of deceit,
No lies. No fires
Please. Believe me.
I will tire my tries.

Help me.
Save me.
Want me.

Save me,
Before I drown,
Save me,
Before I burn.
Save me.
Save. Me.

Smile. Laugh. Cry. Love.

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Smile as though it were your last smile,
Laugh as though it were your first laugh,
Cry as though it were your worst cry,
Love as though it were your only love.

Spend as if there were no debt,
Run as if there was land to spare,
Fight as though your lovers life were at risk,
Die as though it were your birth.

Remember for the life of you,
Forget for the death of her,
Love for the heart of him,
Breathe for the sake of them.

Whatever you do,
Wherever you go,
Whoever you talk to,
Whatever you become,

Fill that act, that place, that word,
With the same amount of equality and confidence as you do yourself,
And others around you.

Make an act of hate into an act of peace.
Make a word of war into a word of love.

Hate the loved and love the hated,
Want the unwanted,
But most of all,
Love the unloved for all they are worth
And heal the world of its lonely souls.

The woman

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To hate something,
You first must love it,
You must feel the compassion and rawness,
You must feel,
Obsessed. Possessed.
By this thing, this woman,
Only to find out,
That without her, you feel nothing at all,
Without her and her ways that only you can be emotionally, physically and mentally stimulated by,
Without all of this, of her.
You are nothing.
Feel nothing.
Want nothing and have nothing.
For without passion and compassion,
You are not alive.
You are dead.

You are society’s pre-designed robot.
To feel alive is to feel so close to death. It is to want to hold on to what little existence you have.
And that , my friend is exactly what she does.
She makes you feel as though without her,
Your heart cannot beat,
Your lungs cannot breathe,
Your brain cannot even think!
Yet at the exact same moment,
You hate her,
You hate her for making you feel absolutely powerless!
You despise her for even having the audacity to make you think and feel this way.
You hate her for all of the small,
Annoying and unnecessary things she does.
Day in, day out.
Night after night after night. 
And whilst your so busy loving and hating her,
You no longer realise,
She is your be all and end all.
She is the air you breathe.
The air you depend on
The air that can be so easily intoxicated yet so pure,
That even without one breath you feel as though you are dying.
Dying.
Living.
Breathing.
Walking.
Walking into the complete unknown,
The same unknown you have known
Your entire life.
And before either one of you realises,
Your lives are over with nothing to reflect, ponder or remember upon,
Other than your passionate and compassionate love and hate,
For one another.
Because is that not each human beings goal in life?
Is it not to fall in love and be happy and content?

WRONG!

This is what society, society and society alone preprogrammed us to think.
Be independent.
Be unique.
Be the air that some one else breathes.
And if at the end of it all,
You feel as though,
You hate the woman you love,
And she loves the man she hates,
Then and only then can you stand up as an individual of the world and tell
Every prepackaged
Stereotypical,
Racist,
Sexist,
Pompous and dependent human being,
That you
You and you alone,
Have found the only worthwhile accomplishment in life.

And that my friend,
Is to feel so alive with a passion that burns,
So deep into your soul,
That you see love and hate as equal.
Life and death.
Heaven and hell.
And everything in between.
Equal.

The only thing you ever loved and hated. The only thing you ever cared about.
Ever even thought about.
And that my friend,
Is the woman standing in front of you.

The kiss of death

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My lips found the carcass,
Of the man I once knew.
The man I once loved.

Now our blank stares fool the ones,
But it is the yearnings that I feel betray me.

I know we are ‘enemies’.
I know we are ‘lovers’.

What pains me the most is this-

I will love you,
For eternity and more,
For you have my stubborn heart,
But like everything else,
I lost you.

I love the ones I lose,
And take for granted the ones I have.

I love you,
You hate me

So for that I will love you more everyday.

What I want

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I miss us,
I want us.

I miss him,
I want him.

I want to hear his beating pulse,
I want to feel like we are one.
I want to feel his body against mine,
I want to smell his clothes,
I want to smell his skin.

To touch his soft, strong arms,
To touch his wandering hands,
To be held,
To be safe,
To gaze into his gorgeous eyes,
To look to him for answers,

To taste passion and want,
To taste the moist, gentle pillows of love,

To desire the undesirable,
To love the unloved,
To hate the loved and ,
To love the hated.

But most of all.
What I want,
Is what he does not.

I think

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I love you.

Or at least,
I think I do.

How can I tell?
I felt it before but this is stronger.

I love you?

Do you know that?
Or at least,
I think I hope I do.