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The worst thing I ever did was leave you. The best thing I ever did was love you. 

Yet somewhere in between I got lost. 

I was lost in a world split in half, but all I was trying to do was find me and you. 

Insecurities became our security and because of that we allowed ourselves to slowly eat away at any spec of trust. 

I say one thing, and the person staring back at me says another. 

All of the eyes behind us tell me it’s a match made in heaven, soul mates, and better halves. 

All your eyes tell me is that despite the fact I fell in love with you, you will never be happy because for you that isn’t enough. 

And not being enough? That’s my biggest insecurity. 

Now I’m laying in bed alone and my pillow is saturated with tears. 

My breathing is doing that funny thing and all I want is to go back and change my mind. I want to change my mind and tell you I don’t mean it. But baby when you say the things you did and make me feel the way you did, I find it hard to see you the same way. 

The easiest thing I ever did? It was being with you. 

Being with you on the beach, in that room, in my room, in the garden, in the high street hiding behind a bus stop, or running down your road only for you to catch me as I land in the place that can only be described as home. 

The hardest thing I’m doing? 

Well that’s leaving you, but I’m doing it for a reason kid, and you have to know I still and always will love you. I love you through acid and back and to the stars and far beyond. You may read this and be filled with hate, but as I write this I’m filled with regret and sadness. 

Please know that I love you, the same way the sky loves the moon. Please know that, and please know I hope you still love me too. 

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