The moment was perfect, soft and filled with succulent tenderness which stemmed from our raw emotions. Each and every nerve could feel him, it was almost as if I’d developed a sixth sense to his every twitch and breath. Our legs intertwined and my arms around his head, burying my own in the strong crevice of his shoulder. Then he looked at me, with an expression that was one of a knowing parent. “Are you actually okay?” The words tumbled onto the pillow, my tears shortly followed. As soon as they began it became clear they never meant to end. He pulled me closer, lying over his chest like a mother with their child. I sobbed and sobbed, with each sob my heart aches and strained even more and soon my breath was hiccuping whilst each and every wall I had built broke down. I broke down. I broke into a sobbing heap of a girl who was so lost in her world and pain that for a second she felt as though there was no surviving left to do.
Then his words came, like soft sprinkles of assurance and comfort. Like safety and security. Love and protection. It’s going to be okay he whispered, you have me now, I’ll look after you, we can get through this together. With each word another brick fell snd with it, several more tears. Before long I was sobbing so hard my body shook in his arms, his shoulder soaked in tears and my self control abandoned. It all drained away, slowly and painfully, like an abscess until I had nothing left but a shell of myself in the arms of the man I loved. His fingers calmed the soft hair at the nape of my neck, my breathing slowed. I let out one, two, three big sighs and with that I felt calm again. Without him my shell would be just that, however when I’m with him I become myself in more ways I even knew. Never before had I sobbed like I just had into someone’s arms, not even my mothers. My eyes stung and were swollen, I wiped my remaining tears on his sleeve as my body melted into his. I stroked his hair and he stroked mine, his other hand tracing the delicate lace outline of my underwear. The night was dark with beautiful flickers of starlight and beneath it was us, two small souls just looking for their place in the world, yet i knew my only place in the world was here, in this moment, in his arms, warm, safe and cuddled against his chest.