Sanity’s absence

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I miss you baby,
I miss your smile,
I miss the way you’d lay with me,
And how we’d kiss every once in a while.

I miss you darling,
I miss your warm aroma,
I miss how your words were charming,
And how we’d slumber on the sofa.

I miss you handsome,
I miss your hands around my waist
I miss how the world seemed phantom,
And how we’d talk of dreams to chase.

I miss you man,
I miss you’re silly jokes,
I miss how you do the things only you can,
And how we’d leave the place in smokes.

I miss you mate,
I miss your voice,
I miss how we’d dance till late,
And how (haha) we’d always make the ‘wrong’ choice.

I miss you hun,
I miss your touch,
I also miss your fine ass bum,
And how I could sooth your worry with my own touch.

I miss you honey,
I miss hearing all the little details,
I miss how you’d find my stupidity funny,
And how you’d show me scars from your all tales.

I miss you b,
I miss looking at the stars,
I miss how you were there for me,
And how we engraved our own scars.

I miss you-
I miss you a lot,
All I do now is reminisce,
And revel in the taste this powders got.

I miss you.
I do. I hope you miss me too,
I suppose I need my friend back,
My sanity is beginning to slack.

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In my heart of hearts
And world of worlds
I do honestly beg ,pray and hope
That this world is not of my scope

In my vision i don’t see the pain
In my vision there are no hurt
I dont talk of promised land
Just one that I could possibly understand

In between the suns scalding rays
Is what a poet wrote for their affairs
Whilst undertakers whistle Hade’s tune,
And aided the lovers through his doom

In my heart of hearts
And world of worlds
In visions, dreams and wishes
And nightmares or back flashes

I do honestly beg, pray and hope,
That this world is not of my scope
For if it is, I say to you,
I hope its not what you believe is true.

Ours

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Dopey eyes and coy smile, I’d like to stay with you for a while. Fair hair and soft hands, in the sheets we made our plans.
Through mine fields and memories we ran, little did we know, our desires began to show.
I fell for you as easily as the moon falls each night, and in return you chased me as earnestly as the sun runs from sight.
 In our twisted minds we conjured up a world of our own, where bad memories were just that and we were never to be alone. Instead its this world in which we are trapped. But whilst the sun rises and the moon drifts, and the rain descends among our spliff, I feel for once as though we are safe.
Safe in our hearts and minds, as long as the road winds, we are hidden from it all.
Hidden from the taunts and past ghosts that haunt.
And all of this, this safety and warmth,  it comes from  something beyond our years.
Something within us, as deep as the ocean and as vast as the mountains are.
I guess what I’m trying to tell you, with eyes as blue as blue, and words as heavy as the earth,
what I’m trying to tell you is that we’ve created something of worth.

McDowell

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He isn’t perfection,
My fallen angel,
He isn’t redemption,
Taken from the cradle.

We met by chance,
The moment undescribable,
Its not a love but false romance,
Eyes locked, hearts racing,
Words palpable.

He isn’t my idea of heaven,
My sanctuary or my dream,
But my life is what he lengthens,
Whilst he exists my blood will stream.

From Scottish ancestry,
Comes a god, a male, a king,
He descends to try and save me,
His blue eyes watering.

His story is just as sad as mine,
And we realise he is what I need,
But it’s only for a sweet time,
That I am his and he is mine.

Its toxic and true,
Brown and blue,
A fleeting moment,
Kiss, cut and bruise,
My soul mate,
He’s left me here to muse.

The girl in the white dress

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The girl in the white dress,
Stares at me, my body long and burnt,
Her eyes follow not where I go, not where I press, but where I have been in sorrow.

The girl in the white dress,
She reaches gracefully, arms outstretched, fingers pointed, legs poised. The wind is made of her soft caress.
All I long is to be like her, a gazelle, wild and at rest.

The girl in the white dress, takes my frozen palm, her eyes fixated on my dark skin,
Her pale pure outline fades,
She’ll not let it win.

The girl in the white dress,
The gazelle, the lady, the saviour,
She stares at me now, eye to eye, breast to breast,
My dark burnt skin begins to crumble, and my legs begin to waver.

The girl in the white dress,
To me is a fantasy,
Feathers in her hair and love in her stare,
I long for her to help me, to steal me, to fix me,
As I fall, she stays, my skin fades and the wind sways.

The girl in the white dress,
She stares at me now, a smile on her porcelain face and my heart in her hands, the girl in the white dress, she’s saved me now, with her only caress.

Anniversary

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Today marks the day
Of when my blood drained away
Of when the memories went astray
And the ties began to fray

Today marks the day,
When life changed all together,
As I faced the forced of the weather,
And she told me to come back, never.

Today marks the day I became someone new,
Among the morning dew,
I  finally realised the truth,
And today marks that day.

From that day on,
A year behind us it comes from,
I’ve grown and the time has passed,
But I’ve finally moved on.

Addicted

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We’re standing in the rain,
Grass submersing our brains,
Waiting for the carriage,
Along to fucking marriage

Marriage to a life,
Of which I’m misfortunes wife,
And you’re the happy husband,
In miserable fucking England.

I hate your Scottish face,
You’re a bloody disgrace,
The way you handled me,
Was like our fucking child- our money.

I try to hold your hand,
Like we used to when we were whammed,
But the grass is in your clutch,
All you care for is the fucking promised land from the Dutch.

We’ll never be the same they say,
We’re heading our separate ways,
They’re right y’know?
I’d fucking leave you if you hadn’t of said ‘no’

So now I’m standing here,
With your breath in my ear,
The grass in our hearts
And our fucking dreams beginning to start.

Sorry

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Your T-shirt hugs me the same way you used to,

Tight and warm but loose in all the right places,

My tears of my mistake have stained the print,

Just like my mistake stained our future.

I’m sorry.

I never meant to hurt you,

And for this I will always be sorry,

You did nothing but make me happy,

But I threw it away.

The happiness, the picture.

The idea and the hope.

And I’m sorry.

Daddy.

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No amount of hate,
Could distract from the quantity of love,
That was made in us,
And meant for life.

I may not say it often,
But you know regardless,
That our spits of strife,
Are temporary moments of stubbornness.

As stubborn as we are,
We make each other laugh,
I see you as my guardian,
And me as your princess.

I wouldnt be where I am today,
If it were not for you,
You would not be the father that you are,
If it weren’t for me.

I remember you hugs full of soul which held together all my broken pieces.

I remember your stubbly chin when you blessed me,
Your warm breath and strong arms.
I miss that. I miss it and I need it.

I miss the looks which told me it was okay.
I miss the sounds of the words which told me a million things in one sentence.
I now miss and crave your hugs and your ways of love.

I miss it all daddy and I would give anything to have you back again.
forget the other words I wrote.
Just listen to my voice.

I miss you. I need you and I know you miss me too and my broken pieces are falling apart and only you can help.